Jokes

A drunk says to another:
- If anybody find out that I slept with one of my patients, I am ruined !
- Come on, I heard a lot of doctors that seduced their patient!
- That might be true, but I am a veterinarian!

Public opinion researchers interrogated people about virtual sex.
They ask the man of the street:
- You what do you think of the virtual sex?
- What kind of sex?
Then I am asked a programmer:
- You what do you think of the  virtual sex?
- Virtual what?

Jack and Ivan talk about who has better democracy in his country:
- We have a great democracy, In my county I go to the White House, and I pee on the fence if I want. - says Jack.
- We have a great democracy - Ivan begins to speak -  I go to the Kremlin and in the font of  Lenin's Mausoleum I shit if I want to.
Jack is already thinking that he lied to much, and tries to ease things:
- The truth is that I look around before I pee, because I don't want anyone to see me
Ivan replies:
- Well, I didn't say I take off your pants............